Sudden Inspiration

There is something to be said about the glow of twilight in the city.  The sun dipping below the horizon, casting a warm glow that settles down upon a background of buildings and streetlights that are already lit.  It brings me back to a different place, a different time, a feeling of nostaligia, no…its déjà vu.  The color of the sky bringing thoughts to my mind of something I have experienced before, or maybe just one I experienced in a daydream.  Warm thoughts of perfection, a perfect relationship, a perfect life.  One that existed before, or one that I will have. Funny how a glowing summer night, will suddenly inspire you, that you have to run back up three flights of stairs just to be able to write down the feeling that it has given you.  Mind running on overdrive, heart beating, fumbling with my keys.  Sitting on an stool, staring out the now open window.  Today it stormed, cooling 20 degrees.   The light will be fleeting, open the window, breathe it in, you only have a few minutes.

Behind the hospital lies the greatest skyline in the world.  This weekend my generation lives through music.  Every window holds a secret and you can't stop wondering.  Planes soar above, everything feels perfect.  But I can’t explain why.  Like a perfct movie, portraying the greatest of a city-love.  A city-love that everyone needs and wants.  A city-love that I know I will have.

A city that makes you feel. I was made for a city. People all around, Chicago.  Like New york, almost. It will be my New York, until I get there.  New York in one daydream, California in another.  Standing on a beach.  Dark ocean behind me, hills filled with tiny lights in front.  All full of daydreams.

Am I just having flash backs to when I was here before.  Excitement of friends that I loved.  Belonging.

I have been nursing a plant back to life for months now.  Today it feels alive.  I literally touch it every day.  Today I think it is alive.

I live for daydreams.  They are the perfect dreams.  An ideal world, in your mind. Total control, and you get to remember the whole thing.  I long to have the creativity of my daydreams find their way outside of my mind.  That will only happen when I have the patience to let them flow. As they only they will into words.

The sun continues to fall.  The streetlights take over. There is something to be said about streetlights in a city.  Casting a perfect glow, over streets filled with promise. I’ll live to live, for once I can say that.  For once I believe it.  Completely confident in where I am going.  It will all be perfect.  I will have what I want.  I will have what I need.  Patience is a virtue.  Patience is my virtue.  My virtue that will lead to the reality of a daydream.

Today is like sitting in airport, for some reason the light is like sitting in airport.

Adulthood is freeing. For some reason life finally seems like it is waiting for me.

Officially dark.  Nightime in a city.  All the best cities sit on water.